come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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