i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
