so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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