My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
