nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
