i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
