She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize