East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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