Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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