i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
