I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
