Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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