The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
