Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
