thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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