He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize