I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
