He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
