What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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