do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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