Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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