i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
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