I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
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