names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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