i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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