i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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