you guys were way drunker than both of me
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
