So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
