Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She swung at the pinata with crutches
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
