@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
