i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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