dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
