One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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