Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
