Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
