And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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