Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
