some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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