Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The power of my boobs compel you
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
