Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
