I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
