I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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