Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize