There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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