Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I have demons in me.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
