I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
