Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she smelled like a LAN party
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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