i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
