I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
