Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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