Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
