Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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