you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
