i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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