i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
