just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
