is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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