thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize