someone threw a dead crab at me
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
