From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
