Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
did i just pee glitter
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
