so explain again why im purple
no
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
