Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
