my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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