HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
