Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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