We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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