Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
