I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
